Thanks to you both. I needed some support with this issue. I gave up smoking 7+ months ago and I quit a relativly mild pot habit that my wife and I had almost 1 year and a 1/4 ago. I can't escape these issues anymore and I'm feeling overwelmed. I remember when I was a pre-teen and teen and even after, I would lie and bed and crave to be held, not even sex, just comforted. That craving died a slow and painful death, I don't believe it will be resurected, unless by God. The only meaningful way of life to me is to protect those who are still craving to be held. I mean, I wouldn't want anyone to turn away from hope. It doesn't seem natural to me that people can be overlooked and forgoten the way the are and have been in the past. Compared to the fate of many others who have gone before me, I consider myself lucky. Still, though, I mourn my former self. Thanks.