One week I love my boyfriend and I'm picturing marriage and kids together, the next I am avoiding him as much as possible because I'm upset with our relationship.. I have Borderline Personality Disorder so I guess this is considered normal but... I can't make any big decisions... I am so terrified of my son getting hurt, too..

For example, we have been planning since September to move in together in April. Well, in a couple weeks I'd have to give my two months notice to my landlord and I don't think I can do it. I don't want to make the worst decision of my life and end up stuck with someone who I already avoid half the time. I love him, I really do.. We have only been seeing each other for 5 and a half months, although we've known each other for 12 years.. But I just can't stop stressing and I'm losing sleep over it and I think it's putting too much strain on a new relationship. I just don't think I can do it yet...

Is that bad?? I lived with my son's dad after 3 months together.. we got our own place after 5 months together and by 8 months we'd broken up and I was single at 5 months pregnant. Not only that, but the time we DID live together was terrible.. We screamed in each other's face every day and I spent most nights crying myself to sleep on the couch.. I just don't want to somehow end up in that place again...