Thank you all for the support and hugs. I did go to the Citizens Advice Bureau today for some help and advice, although one of the women was a little patronising and joky at first and I ended up having a bit of a strop ("Yes I can carry a cardboard box! Yes I can sit still for an hour!... I scored 0 points on their little form! I need 15! How is appealing going to help? I'm never going to fit their criteria, but that does NOT mean I'm okay - I still want to kill myself!" etc) and then a cry I'm sooo emotional right now! Anyway, in the end they were really helpful and filled in all the forms for me. They said it will probably take a few weeks for them to get back to me with another response, and if it's 'no' then it will go to a tribunal and the CAB will have someone represent me. It's all a bit scary. It is NOT good for my state of mind, all this worry and the way the whole thing makes me feel like worthless scrounging scum. The CAB did say I probably will get payments in the meantime (maybe a timeframe of around 6 months) but that they'll be lower than they were (because £65 isn't a small enough amount to survive on?) but, I guess it's better than nothing. What makes me mad is that they'll only consider information from my doctor and my therapist if there's a tribunal, and not before, yet they are the two people best qualified to judge my mental state. And at the end of the day - why is a doctor's note NOT good enough?! Why do they have to put us all through this?!

FYI, Yellowted: the guy who did my medical assessment barely spoke English either - as if it's not hard enough trying to explain depression and anxiety (I'm still trying to UNDERSTAND it!) to someone to whom English IS a first language. Language is just another barrier. And no, the questions were not at all geared towards mental illness, depression or anxiety at all, the questions were more about physical and mental disability. So, I had trouble giving relevant answers that would reflect how my mental health issues affect my everyday life. The 'criteria' just do not apply to me - or I'm betting anyone with depression or anxiety - no matter how suicidal, agorophobic, whatever. It's like they're saying it's not real illness. How can they get away with this?