Anger is an emotion that fascinates me and that I've thought a great deal about, because I've had to fight a very bad temper too. And I don't have a mental illness.

From the time I was a teen until about 4 years ago or so, I had a terrible temper. And I was a screamer. I come from a family of yellers, and they were all afraid of me and my temper. I was the hottest of the hotheads. And, trust me, I felt very out of control. I spent many years feeling ashamed of myself after one temper tantrum or another, promising never again.

Eventually I did get it under control. Maybe I never would have if I'd been labelled mentally ill? Probably my temper would have been considered a "symptom" of my "illness," and I would have been encouraged to take a medication to control it.

My son feels like my unpredictable (to him) outbursts and rages when he was small is what caused his current mental problems. (Yes, it was that bad.) He acknowledges that I've licked that problem. And I'm a living example for him that a bad temper can be transformed.

My first words of advice to RER: Stop calling yourself names. You're not a "bad person." People with anger problems aren't bad people; they're people who haven't yet learned to handle their difficult emotions skillfully. You can learn that. And I don't say that because I read it somewhere. I say it because I've done it. If I can, so can anyone.