It'll be hard (I don't think I could do it myself), but you need to mention this issue to your tdoc. It is bad for you to be in that place because you are a loved, talented, incredible person who deserves to live. Being in that place, regardless of how often or for how long, however, does not make you a bad person. There is nothing "wrong with you" if you feel really suicidal; you just have an illness for which you sometimes need intensive treatment.

I hope that things start to look up for you soon. I hate depression.