It's so hard to fathom that a year of my life has flown by. Time truly does fly, and with that life is incredibly short, and there is no time to waste.

A year ago I was in the hospital saying my last goodbyes to my Grandmother Kathy. I'm sure she was able to hear me although it didn't seem that way. She squeezed my hand.

You know still to this day I regret seeing her fighting for her life and taking her last breathe. It's an image in my mind that will stay stuck forever. Yet again I'm glad that I was there and able to comfort her in her last time of need.

I just wish she was here, seeing me live a healthy and semi productive life. I want her to see that I am doing the best I can. I also just want her to tell me what to do with my mom and sister. I'd listen to her and trust her 100%.

She wasn't only the chubby jolly woman who filled my sister and I up with candy and toys on the holidays and birthdays. But she is the woman who took me in when I was abandoned by my drug addicted mother and nobody else would take me in because I was so out of control. She was a very warm and forgiving woman, and tough as nails.

Woo....jeez I really miss her. I really hope there is a heaven and that she is looking down on me. I always had the craving to make her proud. I hope I am.

Jeez, what a sappy post!!!!....sorry guys.