Honestly? I don't know. I'm bipolar and my mom convinced me that I was just 'dramatic' and 'overly sensitive' i believed that for 10yrs. 10yrs of suffering in silence bcoz I was weak-minded.

I only re-concidered that something could be wrong after a very violent break-up of a 5yr relationship, and even then, I chalked it down to being weak.

The kicker came after my brother was murdered, I couldn't hold it together anymore, scared the sh,t outta my young daughter with my emotional instability. THAT'S when I went to see a professional.

IM0 I think that sometimes we research and overthink things bcoz we need answers and validation. Sometimes we need to know that our struggles are real. Have you taken a look at my mental 'ratings' in my signature? Some scary stuff, but most of them are just *possibilities* yes I relate to them,otherwise I wouldn't have scored anything, but I don't let it define me. I didn't go thinking 'OMG I'M ILL' The only reason I even put it there is so that others know they're not alone, when looking for someone to relate to. Driving yourself nutz, worrying about something you could or could N0T have, will get you absolutely nowhere. It will drive your anxiety up the wall, and in itself make you ill. You're just feeding that fear, playing right into it's hands, and giving it power over your life. Don't google yourself into a frenzy, how would you feel if you went to a doc tomorrow, and gota clean bill of mental health? Relieved yes, but all that time wasted worrying,making yourself ill? The truth is EVERYONE has symptoms of something, we're human, and not without flaws, all you're reading are guidlines, and scaring yourself sh,tless in the process.

Tell you what:
Why not start a thread on the schizophrenia board and ask how they were first dxd, what were the series of events/experiences that led them to seek out help?
Then from there, if you're gut (not paranoia) gut, tells you it's time to seek medical assistance. Print the thread and take it to a pdoc. Then, take your power back, take control of your life and your health,and start looking forward.

Don't let your fears define you.