Costello's "anger management" (actually anger transformation) tips:

Don't act the anger out and don't repress it. Hold it in non-judgmental awareness. Know that you're feeling angry. Notice how it feels in your body and what kind of thoughts it provokes. Maybe you can say to yourself, "I'm feeling anger right now." Maybe you can say it to someone else. Thich Nhat Hanh suggests that breathing in you think, "I know that I'm angry now," and breathing out you smile to your anger, "Hello, my old friend."

To do step one, you may have to take a step back and learn to be mindful. I found that when I started trying to transform my anger, I wouldn't catch myself until I was in full rage mode - or even after the "storm" had passed. Then I'd remember, "Oh, yeah. I was going to work on this, and that was a perfect opportunity I missed there!" A good trick is to think of some common occurrence in your life that irritates you. It should be something that causes mild irritation, not rage. For me it was people who cut me off in traffic, and people in front of me in line at the grocery store who are going really slow - paying with change or chatting for a long time with the clerk after their transaction is finished. Then I used that as the "bell of mindfulness" to remind me to practice being aware - just experiencing what anger feels like.

Look under the anger. When I started this, I specifically looked for fear. When I started to feel angry, I'd ask myself, "What am I afraid of here?" I actually learned some surprising things. For example, I thought that maybe I was angry about the other drivers or customers making me late or slowing me down. But when I looked deeper, I realized that it was more fundamental. My basic fear was that my needs weren't going to be met, that by cutting me off, they were sending the message that I wasn't important. (Silly, I know, but the roots of these powerful emotions can be very irrational.)

Besides fear, often anger masks other forms of emotional pain like shame, sadness, or despair. But you'll never see it if you don't look more deeply. And you won't be able to look deeply if you're acting out or repressing. Both acting out and repressing make anger grow. Shining gentle, open, curious mindfulness onto it lessens its power. Eventually the block of pain will begin to loosen its grip on you. When it does, it doesn't go away. It's transformed. Thich Nhat Hahn compares it to compost. It breaks down and it nourishes wholesome emotions like compassion. It will feed your compassion for yourself and for others who are suffering the same way you are.

You don't have to actively fix the problem. Honestly. Just don't push it away by repressing it, and don't latch onto it by acting it out. Just experience it in a kind way. Know that it's there and that it won't destroy you. Let it wash over you and let it go. Take good care of your anger. Thich Nhat Hahn again: he compares it to a mother with her crying baby. She picks the baby up to calm it. Then when it's calmer she looks more closely to see the cause.

Interesting factoid from Jill Bolte Taylor's My Stroke of Insight: The biochemical part of anger passes in 90 seconds. If you wait 90 seconds the angry hormones will pass. Just avoid feeding the anger by thinking the angry thoughts that keep your body releasing more and more of the hormones.

Breathe.

Take care of yourself physically. I had two problems which made it more difficult for me to maintain my temper on an even-keel. I had insomnia from childhood, so I was chronically sleep-deprived. And my blood sugar was poorly controlled. A low-carb diet fixed both problems.

Remember it takes practice. You'll have to do this over and over to get good at it.