beauflow i'm not real learned about the inner child topic. i know some years ago it was discussed in the psychological community. if your quest re that helps you to seek answers or know yourself better i'm happy for you.
as for wanting to better understand who you are and exploring room for personal growth i do this too. i've never regretted learning to know myself better...and the cause and effect. and for me with this knowledge i have had desires to change. i think it's great you are doing that for yourself.
would like to share with you some of my thoughts on addiction. please keep in mind these are merely my thoughts.
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i did not have the same motivations as others did while on drugs.
Even on cocaine- I just wanted to be numb, free of issues bothering me as an young adult
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And the drugs gave me that escape, along to the more deeper escape of issues, that I am trying to deal with these days.
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beauflow, a classic reason to abuse drugs/alcohol is wanting to escape reality and become numb of feelings, imo.
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i did not have the same motivations as others did while on drugs.
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i certainly know i have not the right to tell you your different motivations for using but i've known many active or recovering addicts that had/have the same feelings/motivations as you stated previously, me included in my active addiction.
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why i am not like my past drug addict friends of not able to listen
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those of us in recovery have different triggers and for them perhaps it's a trigger and what we might call reminiscing or romancing our past addiction. it can set in motion the thoughts of returning to that life particularly in early sobriety.
for me, i'm glad you shared in this forum. perhaps someone else, as i have identified in my past, can understand your viewpoint too. hope you'll keep posting here.