I spent 5.5 days in the behavioral hospital. It was good to be in there but being outside, presents some anxiety. I"m still not completely sui free, but si urges are coming back, just not by that method anymore.

The drug that's new has some unpleasant side effects, hyperactive mind, dizziness due to my puples being dilated. And the headache that happens because of the hyperactive mind. It's never quite, and insomnia is setting in a bit... And I'll have 2-3 weeks of these... grrrr

Oh and the I'm behind on all of my classes. and I"ll stare out into space because of all of the pain and the thoughts...

What's scary is the fact that I want si again, just not how I did, I found out that there was no damage for that way, and it was really just to sothe me.... so now that method doesn't feel enough. Time will tell about what happens. And now i can post more that makes me very happy!!!!