I'm doing a little better today, my pdoc's office finally called back about the issues I was having. I am stopping my new med.
They wanted me to wait till my Feb 23rd appointment to talk to pdoc about other options, which I told them I am not ok with, that's too long.
Having a lot of anxiety tonight, still some si urges, but not nearly as bad as they were.

Ok, so I'm not really as good tonight as I was saying.. I was busy for most of the day, with stuff I had to get done, so I have been pushing everything away, at night though, is when things get worse. Everything I ppush away all day comes back that much harder at night, when I should be sleeping but can't.

The last 2 nights, I have taken vicodin with my other sleep stuff, just because I knew that if I added it, I would actually calm down enough to sleep. I don't want to, but I am going to admit this to t, and it'll be just one more thing to work through