i can talk to people but i cant get close to people. i forgot how. i've had best friends before but we all wen t separate ways.. i closed up completely at the end of high school and have been that way eversince. like i just dont trust anyone.

people are all really detached and ingenuine and its a really ugly combo I see a LOT lately.

My main problem is being comfortable being alone too.

how do i give people the benefit of the doubt? its very logical to be hyper-vigilant around people. i was criticized for everything eversince i can remember, including by fam.

yeah maybe i am overly negative these days but when people are detached and fake i just don't know why bother

im not the kind of person that unloads and is all weird when you first meet them. I just hate insincerity. but i haven't had a real friend in ages. i've moved too much and had to know way too many people in a short amount of time. I put on a mask all the time for too long. I guess i take a while to open up maybe? i dont know

i never stayed long enough with anyone to get to make friends in years. like im actually afraid of getting close now. for some bizarre reason. because i've been relocating and relocating thats what i became used to.

it would be too good to be true if i made a super friend or boyfriend that was FOREAL. So far all of my boyfriends have been eh not for me, and the guys i really love get away.

im not idealistic. i dont want perfection, just real friends
How do i stop being afraid to get close to people? How did that happen ? Im so confused