This session I made sure I took my medication. I didn't want to go yesterday. I was feeling unsafe. As my t and I were talking I started to mention about someone named Nomra but after I got home I was reminded it is Nora. I had a dream that Nora was the gate keeper and had the last say on who comes in and out. It was a dream. But I remembered it when I woke. I started to tell this to my t and the more we talked the more frantic my mind became. At one point I saw myself(looking different but it was me) jumping up in session and yelling about not discussing Nora or anything else. There were others who did not want me to talk about her either. The me was waring a different colared mask and throwing my arms up and yelling for me to stop talking. I saw like a flash of an image. I still know what the mask looked like. I didn't jump up in session. Almost, but I didn't. I think I just would have ranted on about not wanting to talk about Nora but I am some what sure it would have unerved my t. After I was repremanded (by one of the others but I don't know who). I tried to explain that it is part of understanding us, but that went unheard. I was numb after and I feel a little numb now. I have had some self distructive thoughts before bed but nothing I would actually do. Those scare me. There just seems to be more of me than I thought. I just want us all to share our life so no one person carries the burden of negitive memories. I can't sleep right now and have a lot on my mind. It is nice to be able to come here and let it out.