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Jan 14, 2012, 07:31 AM
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
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Don't beat yourself up -- you're in PAIN. Be kind to yourself. It's difficult enough when you don't feel good -- and when you're not happy where you're living, it doesn't help. 
I'm sure it IS rough living in a place like that -- but I'm glad you have a place to live!!
If your friends have abandoned you, then they aren't "real" friends!!  Try to make NEW friends -- you can make friends at church, at libraries, at book stores, etc. And when you start fantasizing, try to immediately think of something else -- divert your attention to something else. After awhile, you'll just stop thinking about the 'darkness.'
In the meantime, don't be so hard on yourself. Treat yourself with kindness.  My prayers are with you -- God bless & please take care. Hugs, Lee
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