Hi Afterrain, I sense that you should make all your decision after speaking with someone
so that you have clarity. You appear to be to have some cloudy thoughts from
depression. I know when I am depressed my decisions are....less than ideal.
try journalling things out, then reading what you wrote the next day and
see if makes as much sense the second time around as it made for you the first time
you wrote it.
Hugs to you.

'S'