I hope you are feeling safer and more calm now, Claritytoo. Sounds like you're doing great work, getting to know your system. It's understandable that the alters would be upset but knowing your gatekeeper is a big deal. I can relate to that feeling of numbness after a session. Sometimes it lasts for days. I admire your control, too. Not everyone can hold it together for the sake of their t, especially when something unexpected like that happens while in session. It's commendable that you made that effort and succeeded. From this and your other posts, you come across as a very strong person and while you're getting to know more of yourself, you seem to have a solid sense of who you are and that means so much. Even though getting there is exhausting and painful and confusing, I'm happy for you that you are doing the work and it's comforting and inspiring to know that none of us who are dealing with these things are alone, even though the rest of the world often makes it seem that way.
((((((safety hugs))))))