Hello AniManiac...

I think that each person defines remission and stability in their own way...so mine might sound a bit different.

In the past 3 years I have been hospitalized 9 times, put on various medications, trying different therapies and having ECT done. Self-injury and suicide were on my mind constantly - I truly believed that I wouldn't get better and that suicide was my "safety net", my back-up plan.

During my 9th hospitalization, something changed. I was started on a medication combo that actually WORKED. I made the decision that suicide and self-injury were no longer an option, no matter what. I was hooked up with a therapist that I got along well with.

I have not been in the hospital in almost 8 months. To me this is a huge accomplishment, since I was in and out of the hospital for those 3 years. Have not self-injured in over 8 months. Suicide and self-injury rarely cross my mind, and I usually have days that I would label AT LEAST "OK". To me, I am perfectly fine with an "OK" day, and I get those good days too! Sometimes I still have my depressed days, I've even had my depressed weeks. But the difference is, I get through it without resorting to negative coping mechanisms, like self-harm.

I am still on the med combo that works for me, and I'm still seeing the same therapist. Another thing that may seem unrelated but has REALLY helped me, is I have grown spiritually. This has made a huge difference in my recovery too.

I will be finishing my high school this year, and look forward to attending college next fall. I want to be either a Child and Youth Worker, or a Social Service Worker. I want to help those with mental health issues, because I know how much it matters to have that help when it's needed.

Is my life perfect? Not even close! But the progress made in these 8 months still astounds me sometimes...and I can't believe that suicide used to seem inevitable to me. Today, life may get me down, but I'm also happy to be alive.