Freud once said: "Sometimes a cigar, is just a cigar"

just because you have a low sperm count does not make you one 'orientation' or
another. It may make having children...problematic but not impossible.
You suffer feelings of shame and guilt about sex, romance and women, and
seem to have a normal or slightly above normal sex drive, this drive, driven
by repression in shame is finding ways out of the dark.
I am not saying this or that, but perhaps these >thoughts about men are just
manifestations of this repressed desire for a woman, any woman.
I say this all from looking at my own upbringing and struggle. I
have many feelings I can not categorize, but I know it is all because
I am being prevented an outlet that nature would say is normal.
Divine gave us the 'equipment' and drive to propagate... we need as men, (some do)
to release or burst, for me I have been bursting with no partner for 8 + yrs.

you need self-compassion to know that whatever is happening, is
likely complicated by wanting to be fully human (sexually complete).

synopsis: I don't think you're gay, just frustrated to the NTH.
AND don't buy the bull that all straight men don't have thoughts about other
men. I am straight as rain is wet, but i know that most men have at least a
passing thought here or there that they are not 100% straight.
Kinsey report.

If you don't want to be with a person of your gender, or do stuff with them, then
you're not.
You just are not born with the appetites to be comfortable in such a
repressive society. Indians I have known are married and talking about
cheating on their wives almost non-stop. This Puritanical 'fascade' is just
a put on, at least from my polls I have done.

"S"