Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
I think they need to have a plan to help the person not do it. I might even agree some(maybe, perhaps, not really going to commit to this completely) with the idea and yet have absolutely no idea how to go about it.
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I am going to ask him for a plan next time because I sure can't figure out how to do it on my own. I did notice I kept mentally repeating the same 2 issues from the session over and over. It finally occurred to me to ask myself why I was focusing on just those two problems. The instant answer was because those were the two things that
actually went wrong, and not part of the 4700 other evil things I was trying to thrust upon him. It was a lightbulb moment for me. Even deep deep down where I want to act like I hate everything he does, there's a touch of reality in there as well.
And I have to admit I was a bit surprised to see you say you'd possibly agree to to the idea of this type of change, stopdog. I do totally understand the "maybe, perhaps, not really going to commit" part of your comment.
I'm right there with you. I can decide I want this for about 5 minutes and then every pore of my being wants to rebel. I do think actually hitting 5 minutes is probably an accomplishment for me at this point.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheBunnyWithin
It's my belief that no matter how badly the session goes, it's all grist for the mill, all something to learn from.
Notice that your T repeated back to you what his understanding was of what you were saying, and you realized that he was not getting the message you intended.
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I especially needed to hear these two things, thank you. I do need to learn to react better to the misunderstanding because I did not handle it well at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by My kids are cool
Great job on the session, and UGH on the ending. I hate ending on a bad note. You were able to clarify what you meant though, right?
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Um, no, not really. I started to explain, said no, then changed mid-sentence to a very angry "Maybe I AM done", got up, put on my coat, started freaking out because I NEVER stand up in there like that and I missed my chair. We had some conversation that I don't remember very well... he asked if he could make me a pdoc appt, I declined. He was being terribly slow and I wanted him to hurry up. He may have been trying to help me calm down. I am not exactly sure what he was doing. I hopped around, he kept talking and then
finally handed me appt reminder so I could leave. Not one of my proudest moments. Ugh. I remember him telling me to have a good workout at the gym.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Improving
So glad that you went! Sorry it felt like a rough session. Am a bit surprised that he took you saying you'd never call as you threatening to end therapy. I understand about feeling ambivalent about whether you want to stop pushing T away. In schema therapy this mode is called the 'detached protector' and it is there because it was useful for survival in the past. So it's totally understandable if part of you still feels like you need it, or it's still helpful...
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I've been doing quite a bit of reading on detatched protector after reading your post, thank you so much.