I really want to talk to my 2 best friends and tell them about how I've been feeling down and everything for so long but the thing is I haven't talked to them or seen them for about 5/6 months. Apart from speaking to them briefly online a couple of times. I miss them so much and I feel like I owe them a massive explanation about why I kind of stopped making an effort to talk to them or see them. I feel like such a bad friend. I've thought about doing this so many times but I think I need to do this now finally otherwise I never will.

They're both in University at the moment so that's a big part of why I haven't really spoken to them but I guess its my fault too. I don't even try to text them or anything. I'm just scared and I don't know why. I feel like they're not going to want to talk to me or they don't like me as much anymore.

I just don't know where to start though. This is a massive thing for me. I've never spoken about anything personal to them. I'm pretty much a closed book. I don't tell anyone anything. If I can do this it will be a massive achievement for me. I just need to get this right.

Since I cant really see them right now I'm going to just write them a message on facebook. I guess I'm cheating a little but there's no way I could tell them to their faces.

I don't know what to say. How am I supposed to explain to them about how depressed I've been and how I just completely shut myself away from them. I can't even begin to find the words.

I guess I just need a little encouragement or advice. I really don't really to chicken out this time.