thank you rainbow, this is it exactly. i've told her ... now i want to leave it alone. or at least not talk about it with her for a while ... work on other stuff that needs to be worked on.

but i'm trying to at least feel the feelings... little bit at a time. i'm still in the 'stupid feelings ' phase.

my goal is to accept them and actually believe that these feeling are not inappropriate, as my therapist said. in some ways it feel pointless to have such feelings for someone who can't/doesn't/won't return them. i'd rather put my energy elsewhere.

blech. session aftermath. yech.