I used to think that self injury only applied to inflicting wounds on the skin then to not allow them to heal by continually picking, scratching or digging at them. I've come to realize that this is NOT the only way I self injure.

I believe that any behavior or activity I engage in that causes harm to my physical, emotional or spiritual well being is also a form of self injury.

This would include (but is not limited to) whenever I binge eat or binge drink, whenever I intentionally place myself into dangerous situations, whenever I berate myself with negative, hateful self talk, whenever I set myself up to fail, whenever I serious contemplate suicide, as well as whenever I inflict and then interfere with the healing of wounds upon my skin.

Of course, I've come a long ways during my healing process and am doing a little better in all departments, nevertheless, whenever I find myself engaging in any of these behaviors now I find it quite discouraging and many times it can launch me into a downward spiral.

I have found that when I give myself permission to "Get Up Off My Back About It" (A Will Smith Quote From Men In Black), I tend to do better as the intensity and desire of engaging in the behavior lessens.

I also will directly talk to these behaviors out loud. Sometimes it's as simple as firmly stating "Stop It!". My favorite conversation is the one I have with "Ed" (the moniker I've assigned my eating disorder), such as saying, "Go Away Ed!, You're not in charge of how I eat today, I am!".

I also remember to repeat my simple, three word Mantra to myself often throughout the day ... Patient, Gentle & Kind.

The abusive family I grew up in didn't afford much patience, gentleness and kindness, but that doesn't mean I can't give it to myself today!

Thank you for letting me share.