I am sorry this is happening to your marriage. In reading your post you say you are the perfect husband. You may think you are but if you were the perfect husband in your wife's eyes she would not seek out another man-sorry. What you have to do is find out what he is giving her that you are not and give that to her. Try to dig down and remember why she fell for you in the first place and recapture that. Be her boyfriend again. Take her on a vacation with no cell phones. Contact the guy and have a man to man tell him the relationship is getting inappropriate and to stop contacting your wife before it goes to far-if it already hasn't. That's what I would do.