I just had a stunning insight into my own current relationship and perhaps past relationship pattern, that has made me feel good. Hopefully it will help others--I'm curious to hear if anyone can relate or feels similar!

I think sometimes, I have hoped for or tried for a relationship in order to feel more "whole" or have something to feel close to or add meaning to my life. Not that my life has ever lacked meaning, but there's something about having "someone" in your life that makes you feel "fulfilled." It seems to bring along something that takes up your head and heartspace, even when other areas seem to be crumbling or failing.

Now, I personally think this is not the best idea, because it is unfair to expect another person to be that fulfillment for our lives. People need room to be themselves, and while love/intimacy/closeness are important, it is too much to put on someone else to be our "be all, end all" in life. We need to truly love ourselves and create a life for ourselves, without relying on another person to be our entire universe.

I think sometimes people unconsciously have children for the above reason- they want unconditional love, or they think having a baby to fix or keep a relationship that maybe isn't meant to be. I hope this message isn't taken the wrong way for those who currently are hanging on because of a loved one. I know sometimes life gets so hard that we *need* someone to be there for us, and if it weren't for them, we'd fall apart. I acknowledge this happens, and it has happened for me, too. However....it is up to us to ultimately create the life we want. Of course, it is okay to want that special someone in our lives! Point is...life isn't just about love. It is about our own journey...and creating and building a life that makes us happy on our own.

P.S. Personally, if you want unconditional love, I suggest adopting a cat or dog.