I agree with Echoes, it's not like there's something you're supposed to do that your T isn't telling you. But you do sound frustrated with lack of progress, and that is something to consider and then take in to discuss with T.

I don't have any set pattern that I follow with what I do. Sometimes I leave therapy and don't think about it again until I'm driving to my next session (this is pretty rare, though!). Sometimes I notice, during the week, when I am having a reaction that fits a pattern I've discussed with T. Then we discuss it at my next session, and maybe start talking about why I do those things, or what I would rather do. Sometimes I spend all week freaking out about what we discussed, so I go in and talk about freaking out, and we discuss why I got panicked. Sometimes I do something different--break a pattern--and then go in and talk about why I was able to.

For me, I work on the same issue for a few weeks at a time, and then usually need to shift to something else for a bit before I come back to it. So there is often a thread running through sessions, kind of like I'm playing Chutes and Ladders--I'm at a different position each time I see T, and there are ups and downs as I make progress towards my goal.

The key is to find a rhythm in therapy that works for YOU.