I am tired of trying to hide. I have struggled with BD for 25 years. I decided to take medication again after a serious suicide attempt and psychiatric hospitalization. I am trying to learn how to accept this condition and work with it. I enjoy the creative manias. The severe depression has gotten worse and lasts longer as I get older. I am here trying to learn as much as I can about this condition from others experiencing this. For most of my adult life I have been afraid to admit something is wrong. I have always been ferociously independent. I am trying to learn how to seek help when I need it.