I was diagnosed bipolar when I was pregnant with my now 8 yr old daughter. My bipolar was triggered by my traumatic pregnancy which involved constant vomiting and thoughts of suicide. I was at my worst and had decided to end my life on the following day. By some miracle my meds finally kicked in and I woke up the following day feeling fine! I was stable from that point on until my next pregnancy 2 yrs ago. When I told my psych that I was preg she told me to stop taking my Lamictal at once. So not only did I become suicidal pretty much right away, I once again developed the same constant vomiting condition (hyper emesis). Switched psych and tried a million diff drugs safe for preg and nothing was working.
I was losing weight rapidly, in and out of psych unit and unable to be mama to my daughter. All this stress on my body was increasing the likelihood of serious damage to the fetus and my ob doc suggested terminating in order to save myself. So sadly, I did, and immediately got back on the lamictal. I've been doing well up until a few days ago when I got stomach flu. Missed my meds for 2 days because of it. Not throwing up anymore and just took my meds. Can't stop crying and feeling like everyone would be better off if I wasn't alive anymore. I don't know if it's being off meds for 2 days or being triggered by throwing up, but this is killing me. My husband and daughter r freaking out. I wish I didn't have to rely on meds for my sanity and wish i wasn't so easily triggered.