SB&D, you asked where I got my info on boundaries. . . practice. Like myself said above, "rules of conduct" that we keep as individuals and as a society, for whatever reason, are boundaries. Another way people refer to the subject is regarding "my space" or "your 'space" which is defined by boundaries.

It's knowing what works for you and "digging your heels in".
Or, knowing what does not work for you and staying away from it. It could be ethical questions. Like hearing a racist joke and speaking up to say "not around me" that kinda talk!!

With usn's we have to start over, from the beginning, before our abuse began, to construct our own custom fitted comfort zone. Safe space,

I use visualizations a lot, to create, a world in which my very being is accepted, respected, cared for..... no cutting put down self talk allowed. Once I got good at that, I found I didn't like being around that kind of energy at all. I had to make a conscious committment to start weeding it out of my life as much as I could. It's become a thing I practice. Positive self talk or can it. Tell a friend i'll catch them later if they're on a negative rant.......

Does that kinda getcha going? More questions gladly pondered. Make it a game to figure out what works and reward yourself when you get it right, even if you "disappoint"or "frustrate" or "anger" or "---" other people or person. You are not responsible for somebody else's feelings. They have to deal with their own boundaries too.

Just observing yourself in your life. No judgement. Check in with yourself, your friends, your t. It'll evolve and, just like learning a new language, one day you'll be doing it religiously if not naturally.