funyen has gotten many good responses here; I agree with several things--you are brave, and you are not alone. You do have the right to feel and act and dress the way you want, and society is mostly to blame for our confusion about gender. I thought I would share, since you asked specifically about how this might be related to bpd, that I grew up being bullied about my gender because my mother set me up for this. She believed girls should not be ornaments. So I was never allowed to get my ears pierced, or play with Barbies, or sing songs on the playground about kissing boys; my hair was very short and I wore sturdy underwear, never owned anything pink or lacey. In my school we had no private stalls in the bathrooms. When a 7 year old girl is told that she wears boy underwear, it is very sexually humiliating. The gender humiliation I endured on a daily basis for years is related to my bpd, I think, because I was continually rejected in a way that involved my sexuality, and my mother would never do anything to protect me from this even when I got the courage up to tell her about it. I am older than you by a lot, funyen, and I think this kind of thing takes time. I would recommend not making a decision at such a young age about gender because you may some day find acceptance for being androgynous. I eventually realized I was not so weird just androgynous (like the third gender someone mentioned) and also at age 12 I realized I was bisexual. That was an early enlightenment back in the 70s! Anyway, now i am 48 and I still have many problems but sexuality and gender identity is not one of them. Maybe you can continue talking with your therapist and take more time sorting out your feelings. Whatever you decide works is great! Good luck.