is there a friend/family member you can talk to about the stress in your life?? for me anyway, keeping stress bottled up or not doing things that help me when i'm depressed is what leads to SI urges getting stronger. maybe take a day for yourslef. or write down some random thoughts and maybe it will help you write out your frustrations and feelings. hope you feel better soon. i know the fighting is hard, but you are a survivor. sending hugs. ♥