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I'm so sorry. It's hard losing someone you care about. Breakups can be so difficult. You say these women abused you in some way, you are better off without them. Perhaps your relationships are not working because you are choosing the wrong women. I've had one after the other horrible relationships. Every guy I dated was physically sexually or mentally abusive. I decided after I left my ex husband I would be single for the rest of my life if I did not meet a man that I knew would be just as good to me as I was to him. I had to work on learning to find things about myself that were positive qualities for a relationship and I had to learn to love myself in general but shortly after I met a wonderful man. He's so much different than any of the ones before him and now unfortunately I am the one screwing up and he is the one being the perfect significant other. But being the wonderful boyfriend he is, he knows why I'm so screwed up so he's really understanding.
Basically, you will find someone that is good enough for you when you learn how valuable in a relationship you are and you wont accept anything less than you deserve. Failed relationships don't work most of the time because one of the people are not giving it all in the relationship, if you are the one always giving, you have to find someone who will give back to you, give you everything you deserve in a relationship.
There is someone out there for everyone, out of the billions of people on this world, why settle for anything less than what you deserve?
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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