You are right bp. Enough is enough.

I was injured 17 years ago, which melted a career of corporate psychologist/counter terrorism. At the beginning I couldn't walk nor talk for 8-9 months. I went to physical therapy 7 days a week, often 2x a day.

It took the ins co. 2 years to even authorize my jaw surgery (the lower jaw was off on both tmjs) and another year to prepare for it since they refused a pain clinic for me. After two surgeries, the ins co finally admited that my back had been injured, and reported on the initial accident report. (Which, by the way, they never filed with the State as required, I had done it.)

I also have never had a hearing before a judge, to make the ins co do what they are required by law. 17 years. One is entitled to the first hearing within 6 months of being totally permanently disabled.

I had no medications to help me for the first 8 years. I have chronic pain.

I still go to physical therapy 3x a week and a pain/stress management specialist 3x week. In between those, I add my primary care doctor, my oral surgeon, my orthodontist (I have to wear a jaw splint -) a neuro opthalmologist (for my vision checks to catch any attachments to the retinas that can cause blindness) optometrist, and gee, who else? I have seen neuros and recently had MS ruled out.

I currently have no way for help at home, and my service dog is 12 years old and going deaf and blind. The latest neuro has threatened to pull my driver's license because he thinks I'm addicted to the pain med. He doesn't even know me... but I went off the meds anyway. Pain won't kill me, just incapacitates me... And losing my license? I don't drive on days I can't. i have no one to assist or drive me, so there goes the visits to the help I need.

Also along those lines, I eat one meal a day. If I am able. I go to a close restaurant, eat half a meal and take the other half home for supper. I am unable to cook and clean. This is the best I can do. It has to be good enough. Making decisions and using the phone is "choreful."

I do have myelopathy. It is one scarring/lesion on the spinal cord where the sheathing is gone... causing the same symptoms of MS...

The injury also caused hearing loss, sense of taste and smell loss, and because of the jaw/eating problems my current iron count is 7.4.

All of this is hard work. To accuse me of doing nothing is shallow. I came here too didn't I?

But you are right, enough is enough. No one else can live with me, my pain. It IS my PTSD, depression and aloneness. Having a problem and being told to fix it myself is my life.

Thanks, but no thanks. The only way to connect with the nice ppl here was in chat. In post I opened myself up to all the snerts.... I have taken the hits as best I could for months. Once in a while I felt the need to respond.

I didn't realize that I was whining constantly. Most of my posts are in PTSD and depression forums...

Thanks for the memories guys. You can pick which ones you gave me.

<font color=blue> Character is who you are when no one is looking </font color=blue>