Thoughts upon awakening: as others have said, why regard it as a disease process? Maybe it's an unexpressed talent. Maybe you need to take up a musical instrument, like the drums. You don't have to buy a giaganto set, you can get a single flat drum pad and a pair of sticks, I got my nephew a set. Altho he probably never used it. If anything, I would talk to your doctor about why you do look at your life as going downhill, instead of as opportunities. Is there someone in your life who gets attention for being ill? Is money lacking for positive opportunities such as music classes? You're a smart kid, really in touch with your body, which is a gift - I only found my "outer athlete" later in life, and was I surprised at how good she was! I would encourage you to develop these gifts now. My parents were anti-everything that was pro-me. All their attention was on my brother. So why exactly IS your life depressing?