I worked for the Federal government (Dept of Veterans Affairs). I also receive Social Security Disability (SSDI) and that is available to anyone who is disabled. It's a bit harder to get than the Federal employee disability, but it's definitely worth trying for. With the Federal disability, you only have to prove that you can no longer perform your current job or one at a similar pay level if you can be reassigned. With SSDI, you need to prove that you are unable to perform any job. So, someone with chemical sensitivities to a particular building could get Federal disability and then go work somewhere else with certain income restrictions (really!), but someone with SSDI would be unlikely to work somewhere else, at least not right away. There are provisions under SSDI for people to go back to work and they fully support that, but you have to wait two years before you're eligible to do that. I was first on SSDI in 2000, but was eventually able to go back to work after a few years. I worked for seven years before having to go back on it, and it was much easier to restart my benefits then instead of going through the whole process over again. Bipolar disorder is a recognized disability under SSDI. I do not receive the full amount of both benefits (no double dipping!). The government offsets my Federal benefits by a percentage of my SSDI benefits, but it is definitely worth it. I would definitely look into your state employee benefits. There may even be long term health insurance benefits there for you even if you're not working. You do need to know that if you are approved for SSDI, there is a six-month waiting period before your benefits begin. And that's calculated from your last day that you were able to work, not your approval date. And they will pay you back benefits if your application takes longer than six months. People are getting approved sooner than that now though, unlike when I first started.

And don't think that just because you're able to function some of the time means you don't qualify for benefits. Part of the SSDI provisions pertains to your ability to function on a consistent basis. They understand that people with disabilities have good and bad days. If you do file an application, you need to focus on what a typical bad day looks like for you. And you need the full support of your doctor (has to be an MD or DO). Without that support, you don't really have a chance. I actually changed doctors because my providers at that time had their heads up their proverbial you-know-whats and wouldn't listen to me. My current doctor literally said he would eat his shoes (nice Italian ones at that!) if I didn't get it after looking at my file and my condition.

I'm sorry you're struggling right now. But know that you do have options.