Thanks to all for the thoughtful words and advice. Even before reading the post, I took a page our of pgrundy's book and had a conversation with him about the decline in our sex life. I just let him know in a pretty honest way that it concerns me mostly because I want to make sure that (1) there is nothing more seriously wrong in our relationship and (2) he is not finding sex with another woman.

I let him know that it wasn't the lack of sex that bothered me but the feeling of insecurity that it has awakened. I didn't mention the porn because I do think that, unless it becomes an addiction, it's a fairly normal occurrence for most men, even those happily paired up. He's from a Muslim culture and I'm sure he'd be mortified to know that I was aware that he watches porn. Although he's very modern and progressive, he is definitely not as open about sex as some of my American friends or ex-boyfriends. He actually cited a couple of times when he'd made a "move," and I'd refused by turning over and sleeping....so strange, because I just thought he was trying to cuddle and I'd just turned over so that we could "spoon"...He has never been very aggressive sexually and his moves have always been pretty subtle. I think that his prior relationship with the ex-wife did a bit of damage to his sexual self-esteem and now that the business is having issues, I think his confidence is at rock bottom.

ChipmunkGal...I'm so sorry for what you've been going to and will keep what you've said in the back of my mind in case the situation does not improve.

Hankster...Interesting spin on the business partner relationship...it definitely is strange, but I'm pretty sure it's nothing more than friendship...and I'd rather admit ten times to looking at his browser history than to ever speak with his ex...she did not treat him well...he asked for the divorce (not her) and I've heard from her former best friend (who is still one of his friends and with whom we've gone on vacation) just how poorly she treated him.

Suki...I have considered breaking up with him but not because of the sex ...mostly because I have a hard time dealing with his stress and trying to deal with my own issues. Hankster mentioned my "caretaker" role and I find myself in this position often with all kinds of people. Although I often resent it secretly, I also know that I seek it out on some level...I don't know how I'd feel if I didn't, on some level, take care of the people in my life....I have a pretty level head on my shoulders and am fairly well-grounded...so, I tend to fall into this role very organically.

As a side note, my b.f. has some pretty serious skin issues, and it sometimes affects his groin area...really, just very bad dryness but it can actually get so dry that the skin cracks a bit. He's been to a dermatologist (it also affects his scalp and even his face sometimes) but the medication doesn't really help. So, there have been times when we start to have sex and the pain is too much for him to finish...I've tried to be gentle but the second I do something that hurts, it's pretty much game over. I think that he may, um, take matters into his own hands, because he knows best where he is sensitive. I'm not so sure that I could suggest something so bold (at least to him) as any kind of "mutual" self-gratification....culturally, I'm just not sure that he'd be too open to it.