First, I am sorry to hear about your family/mother. *hugs*

Secondly, I can relate to you. People cope in different ways, I know for me... I have to separate myself from the situation, to survive mentally. When my life gets too hard to process, I run away. It is a coping mechanism....

I do know that I eventually have to deal with my emotions, allow myself time to grieve... otherwise I'll keep spiraling. Stay positive, take time to heal and don't be hard on yourself for needing to get away. True family will understand.