Yes you are right IceCreamKid. I did allow them to make all the decisions because it was an easy way out for me. So then they became controling over time as a response to thet.
And yes I don't feel whole without a relationship and that is not healthy.
So I am now working on creating a social circle of my own and developing my own interests.
I just wish I had not realised all this so late in life. But this is where I am and I don't want history to repeat itself. It is hard right now as I am still feeling heart broken and alone. But I know what I have to do...