Well, about the memory not being there...... I'm sorry I'm not able to help much there. For some reason it seems I remember everything from being a burglar accomplice at 4 years old (I fit in windows) to being held repeatedly against my will at 6 years old, to being held at gun point at eight-- and more-- it's all there. It's caused me to get into trouble sometimes as an adult though--- as I see people needing protection when sometimes I've found out they don't.

Do you think that in some instances it could be best to not remember things??---that is... if remembering them isn't going to help one's life go forward?

You said:
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When people yell at me, I sometimes get scared. Why is that? Sometimes people remind me of my step-father and I feel angry or maybe even hatred. But, I don't seem to feel that way towards him. What is the deal there?

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OH this is just what I do regarding my mother. She was my main abuser--- I've been told-- I hope I'm explaining this right....... that when I get upset or scared at others when they act towards me like my mother did-- I am transferring my past feelings onto them. I also don't feel those things towards my mother like you don't towards your step-father-- but I'm working on that in therapy. I believe the term is "tranference"---(hope I have that right).

I'm sorry for all you went through as a child-- it's not right.
I hope you will keep talking--- I'm here listening.