Quote:
Originally Posted by finieas
I even make a list of my achievements and read it almost everyday. The list is longer then most people's around my age. I haved worked so hard and have achieved tons of things that others may envy of, just to prove to my own self that I'm capable. And yet deep inside me is still this feeling of lack of confidence, especially the irrational doubt that I one day will lose all the things I have achieved, my skills I have gained. It makes me work restlessly and I don't even have a minute of enjoyment
I'm just so afraid of setbacks and failures although I know they are just a normal part of growing up and progressing.
All those thoughts literally toture me when I'm alone, and although I know they are irrational, I cannot get rid of them. They severely reduced my self confidence.
|
I can very much relate where you are speaking from! I'm a workaholic and very competitive to be ranked in the top 5 out of over 400 people every month. All of your statistics have to br 99% or above and sale put you way over. I am a perfectionist to the extreme. I wrote a book, but all of that still seems menial. I call my issues low man on the totem pole syndrome. I feel that everyone else comes first and I'm sub terranian. I do and give but it's nothing compared to the achievements of others. As you said they are irrational but I can't get them out if my mindset. I was brought up to never quit, fight your own battles and to be a high achiever so I don't know how to slow these thoughts down or pull myself out of the dirt and validate myself. Your not alone! You can vent to me! I'll add. You as a friend. peace