Hi, helloforum! I understand and relate to what you are talking about. I am old, so I get straight to advice. First, if you are financially able, see a gynecologist about dryness and arousal problems. However, if you do get wet when you fantasize taboo scenes, then it probably isn't a gyn. problem. I am not certain, but I thought almost everyone fantasized about intense perversions in order to be aroused and orgasmic. Maybe it is only those of us who have been very sexual for a long time, and vanilla sex doesn't serve anymore? I began reading and looking at pictures in porn magazines when I was 7. I didn't really know about sex yet, but I found it so stimulating that I soon couldn't stop reading/viewing porn--I was addicted to porn as a young child! Maybe that is why I, too, need taboo to feel aroused. My main advice is this: you MUST learn to masturbate so you can have orgasms. I know I am not supposed to tell people what to do like that, especially in a forum of support. But I can't help it. Orgasm can be a life-saver, and a relationship builder. And you don't want to get to be an aged lady never having had an orgasm. Read books such as For Yourself or Herself or something; read Dr. Ruth; look for help anywhere you can find it because I don't want you to miss out on this! Please do this for yourself; it will be one of the most important things you ever do. I know I sound bossy, but I really care. Sincerely.