Is blaming yourself all the time a tactic so that you don't have to move forward? (Subconscious of course, I'm not saying that you purposefully do this.) I'm trying to understand why you put yourself in this corner.

It is almost like if you blame yourself repeatedly and continuously then you don't have to take responsibility for your behavior?

What works frequently is when people accept what they have done, take responsibility for it and then move forward. Everyone makes mistakes. It is part of being human. Do you think that if you make a mistake then you are useless?

Maybe this is all part of your issue with acceptance?