Seeker....I do agree that I do not feel as if my needs are being met but, generally, they were being met before the houseguest arrived. I just don't know if the visit is something to end the relationship over but have definitely thought about ending things...if I have his time and attention the rest of the year, do I want to lose him and all of the positive aspects of the relationship over a 3 month visit (it was supposed to be one month but was extended for business reasons)...? I'm very torn and frustrated. I see your point...and have expressed that I do not feel as if I've been treated as well as could be....but he has pointed out that this is just the situation now...if he were dating any other woman, it would be this way as well and that it's not personal. He's also mentioned that the visits have become less frequent as evidenced by the fact that almost 2 years went by between the last visit and this one.

I do believe this but wonder how patient one should be...can anyone's needs be met 100% of the time? I do weigh the good and bad aspects...and I just can't move away from the way he is the rest of the time...he's very patient and calm with me (I am very emotional at times and need a gentle hand)...he is willing to go with me to any family visit, any art show or to try pretty much any activity that I love. My friends all love him. We have traveled together without a single fight. He is physically affectionate, even though I'd prefer a bit more sex. He fixes stuff at my house while also cooking dinner 90% of the time.

But I'm still insecure. I wonder if this is my gut instinct or my own issue. I've never felt 100% secure in ANY relationship because of my past. I don't love the porn on his computer, but I'm sure any computer expert could find past evidence of porn on my own computer (from my watching it a few times a year). How could I ever accuse him of this when I'm guilty myself...I know that mine is 100% stress relief and if I knew that his was too I'd be totally fine with it. I'm just concerned that he no longer wants me in that way.

P.S. I want to make sure that I'm just trying to be balanced/fair and not making excuses for him. I do know that women tend to do this but have also had very close friends and family tell me that I'm very demanding and hold people to too high a standard. I sometimes feel as if I'm never satisfied in any relationship....is this because I've never found the right relationship or because I'm the problem? I'm 43 and have never been married, so I'm aware that many would look at my "stats" and think that I very well could be the one with the problem.