Hi All.
I've been feeling a lot more hopeful about therapy over the last few days. I managed to assert myself with my therapist and tell her how much help i need at the moment. It's a lot better now i think. I feel that my t is actually available to me. I feel bad now that i was such an icy mean cow to her. I feel like i have been so distant with her but i wasn't too sure about what my problem was with her. It was because i was really overwhelmed and i thought that we weren't going to be able to achieve what i need to achieve for me to get better. I think it was an accessibility and availability issue. I think my problem is for the most part 'ironed out' and i am able to ring and she does respond to my calls. I'm looking forward to therapy now. I'm in a one year dbt program that i'm hoping will iron me out. I desperately need to change. I'm feeling much more hopeful now which is definately a good sign. I need to apologise to her when i see her next for how icy i've been. I need to be more honest and authentic with her about how i'm feeling and who i am. The last time i went i was completely shocking- just crying hard out. I think we almost got to the point when she was going to throw me in the bin! I'm hoping this hope will last though. I've been doing a lot of writing and soul searching over the last few days. I've written down some goals for therapy, general goals for the year, done some pros/cons for behaviour modification. The biggest thing i think that has helped is that i haven't purged food over the last 48+hours. I've become a lot more rational. I really think a lot of my mental problems stem from the fact that i have had such a poor nutritional status for so long!!! and also my sleeping patterns are horrendous- so these are things i want to work on in therapy. I also have a huge problem with pressuring myself soooooo much and having such high expectations of myself. I know it's going to be hard but i also need to help myself by learning how to aim high but still live a happy life!!!!!!!!
What about yee all- what kind of therapy goals do you guys have???