TRIGGER for CSA





has anyone ever had dreams involving there T in a really bad way??
omg i had the most horrible dream last night .i don't usually remember my dreams and i wish i could forget this one.i am hoping that just expressing it here may help get it out of my head

i don't remember a lot of it,but what i do remember was awful. i was in the house that i grew up in the same house that all the CSA happened in.i was in the den on the couch with the person involved with the CSA. he was doing things to me . but in the dream i was sitting on the couch with someone else holding me in a restraint with my arms crossed in front of me so i couldn't move or fight,as the other person SA me.this was one of the ways i was restrained when i was in residential treatment.anyway everything just seemed so real in this dream.i was in the same house in one of the rooms it usually happened with the person who did these things to me and everything.the only thing that was different was that someone was holding me so i couldn't move or get away.when i turned me head i saw that it was my T.she was helping this guy be able to do what he was doing to me.i woke up as soon as i saw that i think even in my dream it was to much of a shock to bear.OMG it feels so bad and horrible.why would she do that ?why would i think that she would.i cant calm down yet and i am really really trying.i am so sick to my stomach.i have not had such a vivid dream like that that i can remember in a long time.it does happen but never with my T involved with this stuff happening to me.god i feel so yuck and contaminated even by her.why did my brain involve her??.i want it all to go away.