For my first three years of high school, I was always "on the go". I had very little time for myself, between my extracurricular activities and all the accelerated and AP classes I took. I was not happy or "stable", but I was doing a lot better emotionally than I am now. I was also exceptionally productive, and the ability to get a lot done is something that I highly value.

By my senior year, my bipolar disorder grew so strong that it began to significantly interfere with my ability to be super-productive. My grades fell from all A's to half A's half B's (doesn't sound that bad, but to a 4.0 student, that is the end of the world). I lost the ability to study, and confidence in myself as a student.

College came, and things didn't get any better. In fact, I lost even more confidence in my ability as a student. Last semester was the worst; I was severely depressed, and could barely make it to class, let alone study. I got a 3.3 for the semester, with a C in organic chemistry. I do not get C's! I was only taking 15 credits, and 2 were spent in an individual laboratory course, so only 13 credits were for actual classes. This is barely above the minimum requirement needed to be a full-time student, yet I still couldn't meet my goals. During this time, I was not really involved in any extra-curricular activities. I tried to get involved, but going out after class was just too much for me.

Now, I am feeling better. Wellbutrin and Abilify seem to have my depression under control. I want to prove to myself and to bipolar that it hasn't really taken anything from me. I want to prove that I can still study and learn and get straight A's. I have a packed schedule, including 16 credits of classes and 2 credits of research. The classes include:
-2nd semester neurobiology
-biochemistry
-behavioral genetics
-intro to public health
-statistics for psychology

In addition to these classes, I want to get involved in my school's suicide prevention committee, and start a club of my own. Am I mad for ever dreaming that I could handle all of this? Am I setting myself up for failure? I desperately want to prove that I can perform at the same level as I did before my senior year of high school. Should I stop trying to prove a lie and drop a class? Thanks