Hankster, the chicken and egg question is slightly different for humans as we are babies born pure and adults begin to put their projections into us. But I think what T was getting at here is that we had no comforting loving relationship unyet the closest we did find was me holding a knife to her thraot pretending to slice her, but this was done in a light hearted way for both of us. But if I'd wanted to hug her that wouldn't have happened. It really is an abstract of our relationship the knife incidents.