ok no worries...I am glad you asked. To come up with what I write just imagine how confused I can get?!
Just like you I was likewise not consulted about my entrance into this world....and was furious for years that I was here, alive...forced to live in this 'hell'. until I discovered I had a 'choice' whether I wanted to stay here...living in this hell!
The only alternative was to be dead instead. People arrive at suicidal ideation in their own personal way I guess. ever heard of "flirting with an idea?"...this is how my metaphor developed...and because my obsession with suicide and my death was so deep and went on for so long and gave me the perfect escape and therefore pleasure to indulge in...then I refer to it as a romance. It came before everything else, it was my fascination, my continous mystery and in some aroundabout way even kept me alive.

...it's not necessarily life and death are beings?...but desires and needs are 'things'...that are 'alive' with passion, and with enough wanting and needing then one or the other can become a reality I suppose.

I am not interested in giving you examples of my suicidal experiences today, I doubt they have any use. I can assure you I have been there done that. I will say this though....I didn't choose to have depression, nor did I choose to fantasise about suicide. I did, however, choose to act on my fantasies...and I did choose to continue doing so.
And at this stage in my life I have chosen to commit to living which simply means I have refused to choose to 'flirt' with the alternative.

I have never been this close to being so far away from killing myself...it even had me confused CgRgSm..I apologise for confusing you...I hope this has helped a bit?