Hey, BJ! Same type of family as yours, same type of crazy mother, and the same "not a victim" perspective on life and development.

I've had several years now to learn from therapy and get some perspective on what happened and how it happened and what that means to me now. That kind of learning has nothing at all to do with being a victim. On the contrary, really understanding, psychologically, what went on at the time, has helped me immeasurably in not being a victim. Being a victim is just something I don't have to worry about any more. And I'm sure you can do the same if you so choose.

No, there were no victims in my family. One brother was a heroin addict, another a drunk for forty years. But they didn't want to be seen as victims. And I respect that. They both finally managed to straighten themselves out. Me, I did it with therapy. They did it with AA and NA. Didn't matter. Same result.

There are people on this website who don't have a problem being victims and many who do. You'll see. You've already been around a while. (Your profile page lists a respectable number of posts.) But there are plenty who feel just like you do.

Victory. Yes. Everyone is indeed entitled to victory in their own life. There are just different definitions of victory. For me, victory means not being a slave to psychological moods that make it hard or impossible for me to function in daily life. And with the aid of therapy over the last several years I've attained that kind of victory and hope to improve it in the future. Victory may mean something else to you. But whatever it means to you, I'll bet you can find it through the kind of self-insight afforded you by therapy and participation on this websight.

Take care.