Hello RB,

Sorry to hear you are going through a rough time. Your suicidal thoughts sound very serious, especially since you have already taken the time to write notes. You also said they're the strongest they're ever been. You probably won't like hearing this, but I think it would be a good idea to go inpatient.

The most important thing is that you are safe. The psychiatric hospital can provide that safety, while also providing you with whatever help you need to feel better. I hope you'll consider going, and I hope you'll keep us updated on what happens!