hey there TheQuietonexx.

I must say you do sound so much better than at other times.

Is this perhaps because you know that you have the option to go in now...and it's really soon and you will be cared for and safe.?
I know I would be feeling very secure as I have done in the past when I know I am going to get some help....

Can you just like go in and talk to them about what you are describing here...that you feel like you need some you time to balance your thoughts...maybe you can do that while you are there ...(I know that sounds a bit silly).."I don't know if I want to come here but can I decide while I am here?"

......and send all the sheets and stuff down here to Australia, we will wash it up for ya!

if I were you TheQuietOnexx...I would go in, take advantage of the opportunity, trust the T making an admission, it will be ok....and let us know how you are going.